📖 Lifestyle glossary

Checking in and caring for each other emotionally and physically after an intense experience.

An umbrella for Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/submission, and Sadism/Masochism. Consent, negotiation and safewords are foundational.

The single man who plays with a hotwife or couple, usually for the physical connection rather than a relationship.

The warm, happy feeling you get seeing a partner enjoy a connection with someone else — the opposite of jealousy.

An enthusiastic, informed, freely-given yes — that can be withdrawn any time. The house rule of the whole community.

Someone who dates into a poly network trying to 'rope off' one partner into monogamy. Considered poor form.

A partner who's aroused by their partner playing with someone else, often with a consensual power or teasing element. Cuckold = man, cuckquean = woman.

Dominance and submission — a consensual power-exchange dynamic that can be part of a scene or an ongoing relationship.

'Don't ask, don't tell' — an arrangement where partners have outside connections but choose not to share the details.

Ethical non-monogamy — any relationship style where everyone involved knowingly and willingly agrees that partners can have other romantic or sexual connections.

Friends With Benefits — a friendship that includes a casual sexual connection, with no romantic commitment expected.

A couple pretending to seek an equal third while really just hunting for themselves — the opposite of respectful unicorn-seeking.

Choosing to have sex without barriers with a specific partner — a careful decision because it affects everyone in the network.

Partner-swapping that includes intercourse — as opposed to a soft swap, which stops short of it.

'Good, Giving, and Game' — being a generous, open-minded, and enthusiastic partner, within reason.

A hard limit is an absolute no; a soft limit is a 'maybe, with care' or 'not today.' Both are always respected.

A woman in a relationship who plays with others, usually with her partner's enthusiastic encouragement and knowledge.

A specific sexual interest or activity outside the 'vanilla' norm. Practiced with consent and negotiation.

A poly style where everyone is comfortable socializing together, like family around a kitchen table.

Your partner's other partner — someone you're linked to through a shared partner without dating them yourself.

A casual, clothes-on social meet-up (usually at a bar or restaurant) to meet the community with zero pressure to play. The best first step for newcomers.

New Relationship Energy — the giddy, all-consuming excitement of a fresh connection. Wonderful, but be mindful not to neglect existing partners.

Talking through boundaries, wants, limits, and safer-sex expectations BEFORE anything happens. Non-negotiable in a healthy scene.

One-Penis Policy — a rule that a woman may play with other women but no other men. Common, but often criticized as controlling.

A poly style where a person's separate relationships run alongside each other and don't really overlap socially.

A private gathering (home or venue) where guests socialize and, if they choose, play. Consent and etiquette are taken seriously.

Having multiple loving relationships at once, with everyone's knowledge and consent. Emotional, not just physical.

A daily (or on-demand) medication that greatly reduces the risk of getting HIV. Part of many people's safer-sex toolkit.

Hierarchy language for a 'main' partner (shared home/life) versus other partners. Not everyone practices hierarchy.

Four people in an interconnected relationship — often two couples who've paired across.

Risk-Aware Consensual Kink — the principle that everyone understands and accepts the risks before play. Consent is informed.

Rejecting fixed hierarchies and rules; each relationship is defined by the people in it, not by default expectations.

Safe, Sane and Consensual — a common shorthand for the baseline ethics of kink.

An agreed word that instantly pauses or stops play, no questions asked.

Whether couples play in the same room together or split off privately. A common thing to negotiate up front.

A defined, negotiated stretch of play with a clear beginning and end — common language in kink.

Swapping partners for kissing/touching/oral but not full intercourse. 'Hard swap' includes intercourse.

Practicing polyamory as an independent individual — no primary partner, no couple 'unit'; you keep your autonomy.

A positive-framed couple dynamic: the 'vixen' plays with others and the 'stag' proudly encourages and enjoys it.

Couples (or singles) engaging in sexual activity with others, usually recreationally and often together.

Top = the giving or leading role, bottom = the receiving role, switch = someone who enjoys both.

Three people in a relationship together, all connected to each other (vs. a V, where one person links two who aren't involved).

A single person (often a woman) open to joining an existing couple. On Escapade it's an optional, self-chosen label — never an expectation.

Conventional or mainstream sexuality. Not a put-down — just 'not kink/ENM.'

An agreement letting one partner end another of their partner's relationships. Common but controversial — many feel it's unfair to the other people involved.

Getting to know and verifying someone before meeting — a video chat, references, or vouches — so you meet real, safe people.